Hiding in the dark

After only a few months of motherhood, I have learned that it is not only me that sees parenting similar to surviving in the jungle. A dear friend of mine has twins, both very sweet children. She loved motherhood, her children adored her. It was great. She was never the mother who painted rainbows and butterflies, she was always honest but did it with a smile and she always laughed. Well one night we were texting back and forth, and I asked what she was doing at that very moment. Her response was priceless. "I'm hiding in the garage" She said. Now, we live in a winter climate, so this seemed a bit funny considering how cold it was. She further explained that she now spends her nights hiding in the cold dark garage so her son does not think she's there. He spends a few minutes searching the house for her. Gets ready for bed and sleeps through THE WHOLE NIGHT! I couldn't help but chuckle, that inevitable battle to get your child to sleep through the night, just so you can sleep too. Its exactly like living in the jungle, only replace that man eating tiger and you hiding under a rock, with a small infant and a cold garage. I was never prepared that I would spend the remainder of my life hiding in a garage to get a good night's sleep. It's funny that something so small could cause smart, responsible and sensible adults to do something so, well, strange

sharing to much

Last night, I was out for a friends birthday, and we were attempting to catch up in the small span of two hours. As each of us were talking about what has happened to us over the past couple of months, the server came over and asked if we were ready. I'm not really sure what compelled me to do it, but I blurted out that I was breastfeeding and that I secretly ate 9 muffins the night before. I'm not sure why I did this, was it to make myself feel better? or maybe it was me preparing the server, that I was going to order to much food and it's because I'm breastfeeding, so it's okay. Whatever the reason, it happened and it made me feel better. The world knew I ate 9 muffins....In the kitchen, in the dark, at in the morning. Not the point. For the rest of the night I had this urge to blurt out indecent details about my life. For example, sharing, that while having sex with my husband, I started to lactate uncontrollably and then begin to cry. It was a monumental moment in my life and I was telling it in description. What an image to paint for my dear friends. But it came blurting out non the less, and it made me feel better. The main course came out and my word vomit continued. I disclosed to much perhaps, but they continued to laugh and it made me feel better. Was my word vomit another skill for survival? Was this my natural instincts coming out so I wouldn't go insane with secret shameful stories. Probably. It definitely helped me get through another day. Although I may have scarred them for life as I also compared my breasts to have to same consistency as a tin can being rolled up with a tin pin. So there you have it, maybe I have to mentally scar others just so I know we are all in the same page whether or not they are in same boat as me...... they are now haha

No class, advise or t.v show, will prepare you for what happens to you

I've quickly learned that parenting is all about survival. Your "do or die" instincts kick in as if you have been deserted in the Amazonian jungle and you are trying to manage your way through thick vines and rain forest, while fighting of man eating forest creatures. Only now replace the thick lush greenery with shitty diapers and vomit soaked bibs, and replace those man eating animals with one very small human who is capable of striking the same fear into you. I have to admit, sometimes hanging out with a fuzzy spider seems more appealing then chilling with a baby who just filled her diaper and all her clothes while simultaneously flinging it across the room. This blog is all about survival skills that have been taught to me by some of the greatest, and some skills I have learned myself. Remember parents, its all about making it out alive, even though some nights, you may think you won't make it until morning